


yesterday is dead and over

by SaraJaye



Category: Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety, Bad Future, Exalt Lissa, F/F, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Sad Nostalgia, The Future Past Timeline, hand holding, reassurance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-17
Updated: 2017-04-17
Packaged: 2018-10-20 04:49:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10655253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaraJaye/pseuds/SaraJaye
Summary: It's all on her shoulders now, and she's almost positive she can't do it.





	yesterday is dead and over

**Author's Note:**

> Fire Emblem: Awakening, Maribelle/Lissa: hand-holding - "Don't let go."
> 
> Listen to [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OkvVr6n1cGk) while you're reading for extra sads.

She can't do this. The public awaits her, but Emm is _gone_ , Chrom and Olivia are _gone_ and Lucina's still a _child._ Ylisse's weight rests on her shoulders and it _hurts._

"Olivia shouldn't have died," she whispers, squeezing her eyes shut. Olivia's supposed to be in charge now, she should be here; Chrom's barely been dead a year and Inigo's barely six months old and Olivia's _dead,_ cut down by Risen to protect _her._ "I can't do it. I don't even have the _Brand,_ Maribelle, I can't-"

"Darling." Maribelle's grip on her hands is painfully tight, and Lissa is struggling not to cry. She feels like all she's done since Chrom's death is cry and she's _sick_ of it, even with Olivia still alive she owes it to his memory, to Lucina, to Maribelle, to all of Ylisse to be stronger.

"Even if they _would_ accept a little girl without a Brand, I don't want this." She swallows, willing her voice not to tremble. "I wish...I wish I could have stopped Emmeryn's murder, saved Chrom at the Table, that Olivia didn't have to die for me. I wish I knew if half our friends were still alive...I wish..."

"To turn back time." Maribelle's grip tightens and Lissa's almost sure she sees her eye twitch. Lissa nods, closing her eyes again.

"Every day the past seems to fade more and more...the early days of the Shepherds, Chrom and Olivia's wedding, _our_ wedding, the day Lucina was born. I want those days back."

"As do I. But it's impossible to turn back time, darling." She knows, she wishes she didn't, wishes she could be more naive and assume the best, but reality's shadow is suffocating and everything in the castle is a reminder of Chrom and Olivia and Emmeryn and how they'll never come back.

_They're gone, and it's just me._

"I can't do this. Please, just...go out there, tell them I'm too sick. I'm not strong like Chrom or wise like Emmeryn, I never _wanted this,_ they'll just want me to make everything better and even _Emm_ couldn't do that. They threw rocks at her, they'll be even worse to me, I-"

"I won't let them." Maribelle's voice hardens. "If one of those people so much as looks at you cross-eyed I _will_ make them regret it." And Lissa knows she will, this wouldn't be the first time Maribelle's snapped at anyone on her behalf. Enemies who tried to hurt her in battle, people who frowned upon their marriage, even at Vaike for belching in front of her and Robin for laughing at it.

 _Vaike... **Robin.**_ She doesn't know where they've gone, only that she's not sure _what_ to think of Robin anymore, after what reportedly happened at the Table. She fled in shame, Vaike left with her, others fled in fear. Of the Shepherds, only a handful remain. Cordelia, Kellam, Sumia, Frederick...

_But even if the others come back, Chrom and Olivia are still gone._

"It's never going to be the same again."

"But it's going to be all right." Maribelle lets go of her hands, fixes her hair and her clothing. "I'm here with you. I have been from the beginning, and I will until we are old and gray." And Lissa smiles a little at Maribelle's optimism, _we don't know if we'll make it to that point, but..._

"I...I don't know if I can go out there and talk to them. They're angry, they're terrified, they-"

"Won't dare speak a word against you if I'm there," Maribelle cuts her off, taking her hand. "It's time to greet our public. Never forget that you're not alone in this. As your consort, Ylisse will be my responsibility as much as it is yours."

 _For better or for worse, in times of doubt and in times of certainty._ The vows they recited what seems like a lifetime ago ring strong and clear in Maribelle's touch, and Lissa laces their fingers together, swallowing.

"Don't let go."

"Not even at swordpoint, darling."

Several deep breaths and slow steps later, they approach the crowd. Voices and faces surround them, and Lissa focuses on the warmth of her wife's hand.

_It's going to be all right...please, let it be all right._


End file.
